


First Impressions

by Jinjinpuu



Series: Daily Lives [1]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinjinpuu/pseuds/Jinjinpuu
Summary: Astro-CentricHow they all met, this is purely fiction even if the characters and setting is mirrored from real life, other characters come in later chapters.. again fiction... maybe? Fiction
Relationships: ASTRO Ensemble/Everyone, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Moon Bin, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Yoon Sanha, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Yoon Sanha, Moon Bin/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Moon Bin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Moon Bin/Yoon Sanha, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Yoon Sanha, Park Minhyuk | Rocky/Yoon Sanha
Series: Daily Lives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709383
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Park Jinwoo

**Author's Note:**

> Jinwoo’s point of view

“Park Jinwoo, are you interested in being an idol?” A man asked him as he left the NY Dance Academy’s training room one late afternoon after one of the monthly evaluations of dance challenges. He looked up at the man with an inquisitive face, he wasn’t sure if the man was joking or serious. Usually idols weren’t recruited unless they were extremely handsome and though he knew he was good looking he was in no way eye catching among the crowd. Guys like him usually apply to be trained rather than recruited. “Of course you will start of as a trainee, you have a lot of potential. How about it?”

Jinwoo gave the man a smile as the man gave him a business card with his name and the label company “Fantagio” on its heading, he was aware of the company it was a somewhat small company with a relatively good reputation.

“Give us a call if you’re interested” the man said as the man left with a nod. Jinwoo gave him a bow as the man left, he knew he was slow on the uptake but he was slower now due to the mild shock. That following week he weighed his options he wanted to play drums in a band or maybe pursue dancing, he was pretty good with rapping mainly coz he idolized g-dragon. A few weeks later Jinwoo a 17 year old boy had auditioned and was now a trainee under Fantagio.

Jinwoo enrolled to Hanlim as he joined under Fantagio, he was the highest entry score and due to his elation he had forgotten to change clothes when he went to Fantagio’s training room. Jinwoo’s first day as a trainee wasn’t what he expected, for one the other trainee’s thought he was a dance instructor and had called him teacher on more than one occasion which he thought was weird. He also called out to Minhyuk to not be so formal with him, which he later found out was way younger than him, in a sense he had imprinted himself to the other members more than he expected.

————————

Jinwoo first met two boys a tall kid with kitty eyes and a shorter guy with strong features, both were very formal with him and when they were practicing some dances he noticed that the two guys had called him teacher on more than one occasion and he finally told the older guy named Park Minhyuk that it was fine to be informal with him. The guy gave him a rather quizzical look and said “your older than me Hyung, are you sure it’s okay?” It took sometime for Jinwoo to ask him his age and found out that Minhyuk was much younger than him and Moonbin the boy with the kitty eyes was even older than Minhyuk. Jinwoo apologizes and later found out that the two boys thought he was the new dance instructor.

His first impression with Moonbin was idol material, he can sing and dance, charismatic, can rap appropriately and he knew just about anything when it comes to being an idol. Jinwoo had labeled him as the guy who will most definitely become an idol and most likely be the one who wont have any breakdowns due to stress. He noted that the boys body build was appropriate for a dancer his height and built was definitely an advantage for a dance to look good. He was shorter than bin so he needed to flex and point more to compensate for his height all things which Bin doesn’t have to make efforts for.

Minhyuk was definitely the better dancer among the two boys. His points, flexes, waves were all on point and he has a knack for dancing with the beat of the music, it was more natural and Jinwoo was pretty sure in 2 years the boy would probably be better than him or at least as good as him. The boy was talented and very passionate when it came to dancing, they weren’t very close until he choreographed trainee funk together with Bin Minhyuk and Sanha.

Sanha was a child when Jinwoo met him a 13 yr old gangly kid that was flexible and has a knack for rhythm. The kid was also impressionable he sometimes act like Bin and other times like Minhyuk. The kid clung a lot to Bin or Junyoung and when Dongmin was around the kid would stare at him and imitate him sometimes. Sanha was sweet and would always make it a point to be appreciated and appreciative of his Hyungs. When that sweet kid turned into an evil maknae was a story for another time.

A week or so passed before he met Dongmin, he knew of him since Junyoung would mention him at times. Every time Jinwoo would say how cute junyoung was the boy would laugh and say I’m nowhere close to Dongmin. Dongmin was definitely perfect looking, his face was the perfect ratio, he was like a statue or a drawing come to life. He also likes to keep to himself and didn’t seem to be the kind to ask for help from anyone. He was close to Bin maybe because they were close in age. There wasn’t much to say about him and even though Jinwoo has gotten close to all the members he felt that there was a certain wall between them that neither of them can bridge. That wall had ultimately been broken but that’s a story for next time.

Jinwoo was already a few months in being a trainee when a new trainee from JYP transferred to Fantagio, Myungjun was loud, happy and a smile always plastered on his face. He was likable so there was no question that everyone liked him right off the bat. Jinwoo and Myungjun has become much closer two weeks after the boy became a trainee. Myungjun had a problem with Choreography and had asked Jinwoo to give him tips since they were on the smaller side of the group. Since then Myungjun came to him from time to time to ask him how to compensate for his height when dancing between bin sanha or Dongmin.


	2. Moon Bin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moon Bin’s First Impression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again first few chaps might be boring since it’s just a reiteration of who the members are and etc. this is fan fiction okay with facts factored in...

As long as Bin could remember he was already training to be an entertainer, when he turned 11 he had already started training under Fantagio. His whole childhood and life’s work was training to become a star, he didn’t really have what other kids his age as a normal lifestyle. He didn’t feel bad about it, in fact he was quite content with it and he had gotten used to trainees coming in and out of the training halls. That was until a year after when he met Minhyuk, he was the same age as him when he started and he found a fondness to the younger boy like a brother. Maybe it was because his sister was the same age as him that he found comfort in hanging out with Minhyuk. Minhyuk was passionate when it comes to dancing he would practice all day if he could even when Bin was singing in the next room over, Minhyuk wouldn’t let up dancing.

After two years a new kid who was about 12 years old joined as a trainee, his name was Sanha. Since he was the youngest the kid always seemed to trail behind Minhyuk and him when training. He was pretty good with following the rhythm so even though Minhyuk had more dancing experience and was better at it Sanha could catch up with the choreography that bin and Minhyuk would do. The boy seemed to have taken a liking to them and would learn things more quickly like a sponge.

The first time Bin saw Dongmin was something he couldn’t forget, it was the first time he saw a perfect face. Among all the trainees that come and go and the idols he met Dongmin by far had the perfect face, there was definitely no person in the world who would say he wasn’t good looking. The boy who was close to his age kept to himself for the first few weeks only talking to those who would approach him first and didn’t really make an effort to be the first to approach someone. The boy had already some modeling jobs few months after becoming a trainee and even an acting cameo. Bin and Dongmin had an pizza advertisement gig one time and that was how they got close. Dongmin was polite to everyone on the set and his smile could disarm the angry people in the set.

“Soda?” Dongmin tentatively asked Bin as he put down the soda can on the make up table in front of Bin. Bin looked up at Dongmin and gave him his goofy smile saying thank you as he took the can and opened it. To Bin’s surprise the soda in the can burst out and splashed unto his clothes.

“Yah~” he shouted out looking at Dongmin who looked both surprised, guilty and surprised at the same time. “What was that for?”

“It was a joke?” Dongmin gave him a nervous smile like he wasn’t sure if what he did was appropriate or overboard. Bin couldn’t hold out against Dongmins innocent smile and before he knew it he had already laughed at the older boys awkward prank. Dongmin gave a relieved smile but seemed like he was expecting Bin to reciprocate or something. When Minhyuk pranked Bin they usually ended up in a tussle, however now Bin was just giving him a hearty laugh.

“Just keep doing it and you’ll get the hang of pranking people” Bin said in between laughs. Dongmin wasn’t cold and aloof, he was just awkward and honestly he looked cute when he had that awkward look on his face. Since that day Bin and Dongmin had gotten closer and Bin had dropped the honorifics when talking to Dongmin altogether. If Minhyuk was like a brother to him then Dongmin was a best friend.

——

Just few months after another trainee was added to Fantagio, the guy went in with swag wearing a hoodie, low slung pants and comfortable yet fashionable trainers. He looked like a fashionable dancer and Minhyuk whispered to Bin “ New teacher is swag~~”

Bin looked at Minhyuk then at the new “teacher” the guy being a teacher was more believable than him being a trainee. Minhyuk and Bin bowed to the new comer and introduced themselves.

“I’m Moon Bin and this is Park Minhyuk” Bin introduced themselves.

“Hello, I’m Park Jinwoo” the guy said with a slight bow.

“Will you be using the training room, instructor ?” Bin asked politely. The guy looked at him quizzically but didn’t answer after a few seconds he started answering, Bin felt a bit irked that the guy talked slowly.

“If you don’t mind, it would be nice to use it.” Jinwoo answered irksomely slow.

Bin just nodded, him and Minhyuk went to the side of the studio as Jinwoo tinkered with the sound system and pulled out a song. He was really slow, Jinwoo took to the studio and started dancing to the music. Few seconds in and Bin noticed it was a choreography he wasn’t familiar with. Sanha arrived just a few seconds after it started and sat down beside Minhyuk.

“Is that our new instructor, is he dancing freestyle?” The boy asked as he sat beside his two hyungs.

“I think it’s a different choreography, the dance moves are too fluid and timed to the beat to be freestyle.” Rocky observed “Instructor seems to be really good with hip hop.”

“Too bad he’s short” Bin answered, in terms of talent the instructor was currently better than Minhyuk and him but in a year or two they should be at least in that level. The instructor has the height disadvantage so even if he was better the height difference would limit the dancers aesthetic.

Minhyuk pouted at the comment he wasn’t that tall either he was taller than Sanha at the moment but Sanha still has time to grow. It was true that height was a bit of a disadvantage especially when in a group of taller members, he had to compensate. “But he is swag”

Bin just nodded at the comment the instructor definitely had swag, it would be nice to learn from him, he was sure that Minhyuk, him and Sanha can do what the instructor can if they were given time.

The song ended and Jinwoo jogged to the sound system to turn it off. Sanha, Bin and Minhyuk stood up and crowded to him. The guy had a gummy smile as Sanha complimented him on his dancing.

“Wow did you choreo that yourself instructor?” Sanha asked as he talked to Jinwoo with a slight bounce to hi step. The guy nodded and said that it was a choreo he did to get into Hanlin. Bin pouted a bit as he thought why would their instructor need to study in Hanlin, he should have graduated at that point. He already had an inkling that the instructor wasn’t an instructor but the new trainee.

“It was swag~~” Minhyuk added and Bin wondered why Minhyuk seems to be infatuated with “SWAG” now. “Teach me that choreo Jinwoo Hyung-si” 

The guy had that quizzical face again and gave Minhyuk a gummy smile. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. Just call me Jinwoo.”

“But I’m younger than you and you’re the instructor.”

“Eh~~~” Jinwoo reacted, slowly Bin might add. “No no, I’m the new trainee Park Jinwoo”

“Oh”

“Hahahaha” sanha gave a loud laugh and a few seconds later they laughed with him. Bin might be irked with the Hyungs slow reaction but he admits that he respected this guys talent. It would be nice to debut in the same team as him Bin thought at that moment.

Almost a year passed by when a trainee from JYP was transferred to Fantagio. Him, Minhyuk and Sanha had rushed to the studio when they heard of it. The trainee was currently being evaluated and they poked their heads in the studio as the trainee sang a high note from a popular JYP kpop girl group. He had really good vocals and his dancing was good too, not as great as Jinwoo’s or theirs but definitely good enough to debut in JYP and wouldn’t shame the name. He was a bit taller than Jinwoo but not by too much though so that was a minus, JYP has very few idols that wasn’t tall just looking at 2am and 2pm. Even their recent idol group got7 were all averagely tall, but talent wise Bin didn’t find any negative on him. After meeting MJ he was shocked by how bright and happy he was it didn’t help that he was also much older than they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot and story are still in progress lol


	3. Park Minhyuk

Minhyuk has always been single minded in the things he do and his family had supported him when he decided to become an idol. It was the only single thing that he wanted to do and achieve and as soon as he was able he had went to audition at Fantagio at the early age of 11. If there was one thing Minhyuk has in spades it was passion and it was passion that got him through the rigorous training that he and bin endured in the early years of their training days. A lot of the trainees come and go to practices some enduring more than the others while others giving up after a few sessions but it was his Bin-Hyung that he had endured most with and it was no question that Bin was his most favorite person.

Two years passed and a gangly kid a year younger than him had also become a trainee. His name was peculiar and seemed like a stage name. Just like how moon bin seemed like a stage name Yoon sanha also seemed like one. Minhyuk felt a bit apprehensive that he alone had a normal sounding name alike Park Minhyuk both his name and last name was very ordinary that it made him feel a bit apprehensive. To get rid of these thoughts he would start practicing again and the new trainee kid would just watch him whenever he would take to the dance floor. Bin would usually be singing in the other room when Minhyuk started his intensive dance routine, and the new kid would just let him use the dance floor watching him and never neglecting to clap when he finished dancing. Minhyuk felt a little better with this and in time he had gotten used to having the little brother sanha. He felt like he was the middle child of three and he was content.

This all changed when a trainee that seemed closer to an angel than a human had descended to their studio. He was an introvert and mostly kept to himself and seemed like a being that one cannot touch unless he wanted to be touched. Minhyuk felt that this boy Dongmin was someone above him, someone he can’t touch. Nothing changed much between him and Bin until after Bin and Dongmin had a pizza ad together. Minhyuk noticed that Bin had spent more time with Dongmin than himself. He somehow felt that he lost a big brother and instead of trying to get his big brother back he poured all his time to become better so that when the time comes he can stand with his big brother again. Minhyuk was still young and naive because of his single minded passion he was immature when it comes to feelings. All he knew at that moment was that his Hyung was somewhere he couldn’t reach like how Dongmin was not in his reach. Instead of getting jealous he practiced twice as hard to reach that place where his Hyung was.

Just a few months after Dongmin became a trainee another trainee came in and Minhyuk could only think of swag... they originally thought he was an instructor, in Minhyuks defense the Hyung had so much swag that he could pass of as an instructor. It took Minhyuk a few weeks before he could talk to Jinwoo-Hyung comfortably. The Hyung had so much swag that Minhyuk had started to get obsessed on how to be swag. He observed his Hyung and started to research how to be swag and he found himself his own kind of swag that was different to Jinwoo-Hyung. Jinwoo wasn’t hard to approach unlike Dongmin, he was very helpful and approachable. Minhyuk had often thought that Jinwoo had no selfishness in him, what he knew he would share with everyone, even when there was gonna be evaluations coming up Jinwoo would make it a point to teach those who couldn’t catch up which was usually Dongmin. Even when this happens Minhyuk could tell that the two hyungs weren’t close, they had a respectable distance to each other and Minhyuk wonders if it was because they had somewhat similar personalities. In all the trainees so far Minhyuk agrees to himself that Jinwoo-Hyung was the most comfortable to be with so far.

That was until Myungjun-Hyung entered as a trainee. By far he was the most approachable, Myungjun-Hyung had no qualms with personal space, he was funny vibrant and radiated happiness. Even Dongmin had no choice but to laugh with them when Myungjun was around and that was when rocky had felt that Dongmin wasn’t unapproachable he was just shy and awkward. Having Myungjun around had opened the shy Dongmin to the group and had made everyone more comfortable with each other. Minhyuk had also found Myungjuns soft belly very nice it reminds him of a cat that likes to be tickled in their soft belly. Myungjun was no different he would let Rocky or Jinwoo pet his belly like a cat that was being pampered.


	4. Lee Dongmin

Dongmin had always liked music, it was something that he found comfort in. Growing up he learned to play the piano, guitar, clarinet and violin... it was a hobby for him nothing more. He liked music and had wanted to pursue it but his family neither supported him nor hindered him. His family would let him do what he wanted and even invested on him, when he was younger he remembered that they lived in the Philippines for awhile so that he could learn english and he was able to learn it well enough to converse in English properly. His parents let him play soccer or basketball because he wanted to, they were supportive of what he wanted never really pointing him to what he should be doing. That was until one night when he heard his parents in the living room. He was class president 3 years in a row now and usually went home late either because he has practice or a meeting. Today he was early since he wanted to tell his parents he wanted to enroll in a DJ class that opened just a few blocks from his school. 

“Wouldn’t it be nice if Dongmin becomes a lawyer? You know he’s smart and diligent and people trust him easily... it would be nice to have a lawyer as a son, don’t you think?” Dongmin stopped in the foyer as he heard his mom’s voice drifting from the living room just a few steps away, the only thing blocking them was the thin divider to his side. Dongmin stopped himself from greeting them and decided to keep his silence as his mom and dad was talking about how nice it would be to have their son become a lawyer. Dongmin feeling that he eavesdropped a private conversation from his parents silently slinked back outside.

It was the first time that his parents had expected something from him his whole life. They never really demanded much from him, except no dating until he graduated. His life choices and what he wanted to do? They never really told him to be a certain way, always giving him what he wanted without so much as a fuss. He looked back and somehow he never really remembered his family acknowledge he has done well and when they do it was more like an afterthought rather than the main topic. He was fine with that too, after all whenever he has recitals or games they were there to support him. They didn’t made too much fuss of congratulating him but they would always give him a warm smile that was enough for him to know they were proud of him.

While in his thoughts Dongmin found himself in a park between his house and the elementary school, there weren’t much people in the area and he looked for a bench to sit on. To ponder the things in his head that was currently bothering him. 

‘Maybe he was selfish’ Dongmin thought to himself, maybe it was only him that thought his parents were proud of him. Maybe it was what he sees because it was what he wanted to see. They haven’t pushed him towards music.. maybe that was because they didn’t want him to pursue music. Dongmin shuddered at the idea that his family wouldn’t support him, but with how much his family gave him freedom and support, wouldn’t it be nice if he could give back what his family wanted for him. Being a lawyer wasn’t so bad, he wasn’t so against it... but he wanted to pursue music, it was his passion. He knew he wasn’t that good looking, his mom never said that to him even once, though some people did. His friends would always be told by their mom how cute or handsome they were but he never had that moment in his life maybe once or twice but it was an offhand comment that was like an afterthought to the topic at hand.

Dongmin mused in that park for awhile until the sun set itself in the horizon. He vowed to himself that this was going to be his last selfish request... DJ class and he promised that he would properly pave his way to becoming a lawyer. Music was just going to be a hobby and nothing more.

His mom and dad didn’t give too much fuss about him wanting to enroll in the DJ workshop. He was grateful and at the same time guilty of taking advantage of his parents generosity. Since then Dongmin had strived to study more getting into top 3 of the entire school earned him a congratulations from his mom who looked so proud of him. Music has become a hobby though he still attended recitals it was only recitals confined to his school and not the competitions outside that he had liked to join before.

Dongmin had just turned 16 when he had gotten an opportunity to pursue the arts. He was washing his hands in the restroom when a man had talked to him and asked him if he wanted to pursue a career in the entertainment industry. It was after a recital at school and he was too shocked to respond no to the man, so he reluctantly took the business card that was handed to him. He knew he should say no, he knew he should follow his way to becoming a lawyer so he held off on contacting the agent. 

The agent had tried to recruit him multiple times and each time Dongmin found it harder and harder to say no. He was stressed, he should follow his path, the path that he know would make his parents proud. This stress had become apparent to his family, who decided to ignore it when Dongmin had brushed it off with “I’m okay, it’s just exam week is close so I need to study.”

“ Dongmin come here” His teacher beckoned him as the other students milled out of the classroom and they were the only ones left. “ is there something bothering you? You haven’t been paying attention to class and you flunked your last test.”

Dongmin chewed his bottom lip as he thought about what to say. He needed to confide to someone, he knew that because this was eating him out right now. “ I got an offer to audition for an entertainment company” Dongmin blurted out before he lost his resolve to confide to his teacher. His teacher looked at him for a solid few seconds then gave out a sigh.

“ then take it. It’s an audition you can’t be sure that you’ll pass and it seems like you really want to do it. So just go” His teacher told him with a smile. “Else you might regret letting it pass you by, as you seem to be regretting it even now.”

“But...” Dongmin wanted to make excuses, wanted to say he was set on being a lawyer.. but he knew he liked music he was happy when he was doing it. So instead of rebutting he decided to ask for help. “But the auditions is on the day of the exams.”

The teacher gave him a smile “don’t worry about it, I’ll let you take the exams on another day”

“Thank you” Dongmin uttered his thank you with a bow. If he wanted to do it, he should do his best for it. In the days before the audition Dongmin practiced as much as he could forgoing his after school clubs and workshop and concentrating on his audition piece a song accompanied by playing the piano. His family not saying anything as he practiced singing at night although his brother would yell at him when he was still practicing after 10:30.

The day he went to audition was nerve wracking, he originally had no intention of auditioning but now that he was here he wanted to do the best he can and get in. Then afterwards he would ask his parents to let him be selfish one last time if he ever got in. He hadn’t told them yet since he was scared that maybe his parents would finally snap and prohibit him from auditioning. He wanted to show them that he can do it first, that he was capable of it the. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for them to accept it.

When Dongmin arrived and was being lead to the audition room he saw three boys in a studio dancing and singing as he passed by. He shuddered as he saw how fluid they move and their voices not cracking while dancing. He felt more apprehensive if he could do well at all, if those were the caliber of getting into the company he doubt he would be able to pass.

“Lee Dongmin, please come inside here.” The agent that had recruited him ushered him inside a small studio that housed different musical instruments, it was much smaller than the dance studio he saw the three boys practice in. There were three people in the room who was sitting in front of the piano that he was going to play in. Two women and a man, they all looked at him with interest as he sat on the piano bench. They asked him some basic questions like his name , his height, what musical instruments he can play and if he had ever tried modeling or acting. With more questions asked he felt more comfortable and the interviewees seemed happy with his answers. He was asked to play his piece and he waited outside for a few minutes before he was called back in. He passed and somehow he felt both elated and nervous at the same time. He was happy he passed but also afraid of how his parents would react, would they be angry that he wouldn’t pursue law or worse would they be disappointed with him. On the way out Dongmin glimpsed the dance studio again and he felt now more than ever that he also wanted to be able to do those things, he also wanted to pursue this.

Dongmin was lost in his thought as he got home, his mom had cooked a number of dishes and Dongmin wondered how he would break his news. After eating his mom asked him a question that blew his mind. “How was your audition?” It was simple and direct, Dongmin fidgeted, he didn’t know how his mom knew or what to say about it. So he just stared at her without saying anything.

“So how was it?” His brother asked this time with a bit of excitement in his voice which woke Dongmin from his reverie .

“I passed...” Dongmin answered in a small voice he didn’t know how his parents would react. Would they be sad and disappointed, or maybe angry? Or just plain indifferent to it.

“That’s good, congratulations!” His mother said with a smile on her face. “And remember that you can’t give up if you really want to pursue this path.”

Dongmin looked up at his mom who was beaming at him. Somehow he felt like all the stress he held in just went away and he gave out a huge smile and answered. I’ll do my best and make you proud.”

“I’m already proud of you my son” his mom said as she pulled Dongmin to her and hugged him “mu beautiful beautiful son” and before Dongmin could keep up his facade his tears just formed in his eyes and he cried like he had never cried before. It was the first time for a long while that his mom called him that and acknowledged him and he just cried like that for a long while. He could see his brother and fathers shocked face but he ignored them as he continued on crying on his mother’s embrace.

———

After that he moved to a different school the next school year and had started his career, getting into modeling and acting and his time was spent training after school. He had less curricular activities but was busier than he ever was.... and he was happy.

He felt a bit inferior and out of place when he started being a trainee. The others could dance and sing well while he was still floundering around with the simple choreography that was handed to him. He kept mostly to himself so that he wouldn’t drag everyone else to his pace. No matter how hard he worked it felt like the gap wasn’t getting any smaller. It didn’t help either that the three mainstay in the studio was close with each other and he felt like the odd man out. The three of them would play pranks on each other or had more skin-ship than normal. They looked liked brothers and he felt he wanted to belong. He finally pulled up his courage one shooting day and played a prank on the eldest of the trio, Bin. He thought the guy would get angry at him but instead laughed and he had gotten closer to them. Although the other two didn’t warm up to him as quickly he felt that in time they could get along.

The new trainee that joined the group was someone that Dongmin was jealous and at the same time frustrated with. He had easily blended with bin, Minhyuk and sanha. Keeping up with the choreography fast enough and letting bin do solo vocals without much problem. Minhyuk had also taken into befriending Jinwoo and being close friends like it was normal. And even sanha’s bluntness was easily deflected and kept in stride like a reliable older brother or a n understanding father. Dongmin was jealous it took him months to get close to them and Jinwoo took a few days at most to establish himself. He was also frustrated that he doesn’t hate Jinwoo at all. Jinwoo would make it a point to help him out with the choreo whenever he had a hard time catching up. Why can’t Jinwoo just let him hate him in peace and instead made him more endearing for him by helping him out. The more time they spent together the more Dongmin felt like he was the mother and Jinwoo was the father which he found frustrating.

Almost a year passed when another trainee joined their regular ranks. A boy named Myungjun, at first Dongmin thought he found another younger brother only to find out that the boy was already a man and a few years older than him. With how much energy and vibrance the man brought it wouldn’t be shocking if he was younger than sanha. So there was really no question when Myungjun had become a part of their group. Even when members come and go it seemed this group was set to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story still moving so slow...


	5. Kim Myungjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is fiction and does not fully relate to reality

Kim Myungjun was an insecure person and he knew that and accepted it. Ever since he was young he had wanted to be a singer, but because no one really pushed him he started being a trainee late. Myungjun clearly remembered a former trainee’s words that was told to him. ‘Having a bit of talent was the most painful for those who wanted to become a singer’. That talent was what kept them going and wanting to achieve something, but that amount of talent was not enough for them to debut. It was like being an average person among the talented ones, looks was much more appreciated. Singing, dancing and acting can be honed but good looks was something you were born with. 

Though he felt his insecurity he didn’t let it hinder his passion for singing. He strived even when he was declined twice, first because he “didn’t fit the concept” and he “wasn’t ready to debut”. Later on because “he wasn’t tall enough” or “wasn’t interesting enough”. Those rejections and insecurity made him want to be better instead of giving up. If there was something he had in spades was his passion. So when he was accepted into a new group in a new company he had to be more interesting, he had to fit the concept. He couldn’t do anything with his height and he knew more than anyone else he was ready to debut.

There he met trainees much younger than he was and much more talented (in his perception) than he was. They could sing and dance and each of them had a unique personality that set them apart from each other. Even the other short person among the trainees had that charisma that made him look brighter and taller than he really was.

Moonbin was, in Myungjuns eyes, the trainee that was sure to be accepted in to the new group. He was confident, he had his own dance style, his voice was strong and loud. Even if he couldn’t reach the notes Myungjun can his voice was strong enough to keep people’s attention. Myungjun knew his forte was his wide range but he had always been told that his voice thins easily and he sometimes gets out of breath when he doesn’t moderate his breathing. It was his forte but he still feels insecure, he needed to push it out of his mind.

Minhyuk was sure to be next in line among the trainees that would debut. He had a nice low voice, it was thinner than Bins or even his own but it had a soothing melody to it that was unique to him. He was a great dancer and he could rap on top of it all. His personality was also unique among the others, he was the serious and passionate yet tries to be an adult and seemingly failing kind of ‘personality trope’. Myungjun can dance, but he had always been mediocre at it. He couldn’t pop and lock or do hip hop, he can dance and keep up with choreography well enough... if he was taller he would probably look better,

Dongmin, there was nothing to be said about him. Handsome trainees are sure to be picked because being handsome was a talent in and of itself. Not to mention that he was also tall, he could play a number of instruments and can sing well enough to do justice to a low note ballad. Most handsome trainees were chosen first because singing and dancing can be trained, but this trainee had other talents that would make him better than just your average visual. Sure he sucked at dancing to the beat and following a body rhythm but he makes up for it by working hard in getting the choreography down. As long as he can keep up with the choreo being a great dancer wasn’t needed, he just needed to keep up since being the dancer won’t be his main role.

Jinwoo was the classic friendly older brother that everyone can rely on. It wasn’t an act either, he was really just genuinely caring. He was comfortable with teaching anyone who needed help, he was a guy that had not yet faced competition or insecurity. It seemed like he was unaware of the competition and how hard the path he was going to take. Myungjun was a bit jealous of the innocence of the younger boy, he was sure that the time would come that the boy will feel insecurity and the weight of being the mediocre among the talented. Nonetheless because of his genuine kindness the trainees easily find him approachable and likable. Myungjun was drawn to this younger boys kindness and even with the facade of always being happy he found that he sometimes forgets that mask of his. The closer he got to Jinwoo, also made him get farther from Dongmin. He doesn’t know what it was but there seemed to be a seething jealousy just bubbling beneath that concealed smile.

A few months just before their debut Myungjun inadvertently told Jinwoo that he was like the father of the group which Jinwoo looked at him with his slightly agape mouth that he always use when he was at a loss of words. The face he makes whenever Sanha was too blunt and Jinwoo doesn’t know how to respond. Dongmin had taken to calling him my son which Myungjun just accepted since it made them closer.

Sanha was an impressionable child, he was talented too and a unique personality. Myungjun finds himself on the young boy, when he was younger he was also like him. He was a young version of Bin and Rocky, a boy that was molded to become an idol. There were other trainees in their company but these five were the ones who caught his attention.

———

The first few weeks was hard for Myungjun. Myungjun had originally been a regular guy, not the active and happy that he portrayed when he was with the other trainees. He had been shy due to his insecurities and he knew he needed to get past that if he wanted to debut. He had to be active, it was tiring but he needed to do it, this was his dream and this was a little sacrifice to reach his dream.

In a particular grueling evaluation Myungjun slumped in one corner of the studio. Everyone was screaming and letting out their frustration and weariness, Myungjun knew he had to jump up scream too, he knew he should go around and share his smile and happiness to every trainee in the room. But he was just so tired, it had already been a month since he started acting this way. The stress and pressure adding each day, was it worth it, was it really, he could just give up now... it would be so much easier. If his talent wasn’t enough then maybe this wasn’t for him, maybe this group didn’t need him. If he needed to act to be the sunshine just to stay in the group then maybe he and his talent wasn’t worth it. Maybe he wasn’t worth having this kind of dream. He wasn’t handsome, he wasn’t a talented dancer, he could sing well but so could everyone else in this room. He had nothing unique in him to set him apart from everyone else. He didn’t have Bins charisma, Dongmins good looks, Minhyuks moves or even Sanhas innocence... he had nothing...

He had already been rejected twice, what made him think this was gonna be different... these boys were younger than him yet their talent had already surpassed him. Why was he so stubborn... like his father said, being stubborn won’t solve his problems. He should just give up, maybe this wasn’t what he was supposed to do, it hurt accepting defeat, before Myungjun could stop himself he felt a tear fall down his cheeks, he quickly pulled his head down between his knees. He was sitting in the floor with both his legs bent in front of him his two arms supporting his forehead. His tears falling, with him not knowing why he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to quit, he didn’t want to stop in believing his dreams.

He saw a familiar sneaker stop in front of him, he didn’t look up in fear that his tear streaked face would be shown and his whole facade would just fall like a badly played Jenga. He felt a towel dropped in his head and a bottle of water placed in front of him. He didn’t move, still keeping his head down. 

A few moments later...

“Come on everyone I’ll pay for free coffee for the first 5 people to get to the cafe” a voice said and quickly the trainees started running towards the door. There were currently 10 trainees in the room and all of them quickly shuttled out of the room and the door clicked shut after them leaving Myungjun alone in the studio. Tentatively Myungjun looked up and saw himself alone, his face still tear stained. He glanced at the water bottle that was in front of him seeing a note attached to it. The small note made him cry all the more... maybe just maybe... he can try this just one last time before he gave up...

=====

Your smile is a Sunshine!  
Don’t lose it!  
Fighting!

=====

Maybe the time will come when his smile will become genuine and not just a mask to hide his insecurity. For now he just needed to let this all out. Myungjun continued to cry and when the other trainees came back he gave them his sunshine smile. He glanced at the boy with the familiar sneakers and he gave Myungjun a gummy smile that encouraged him and reminded him that he still had this chance to become a singer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not good enough in writing sad stories so there might be an emotional distance in my writing

**Author's Note:**

> First few chapters are probably gonna be boring
> 
> This is my first fanfic so it would be nice if you can give me some comments and such


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